At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
