My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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