We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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