And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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