Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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