if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
