oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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