I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize