You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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