Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
