This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
