It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
