Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So many bounce houses so little time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize