Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
