Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No subtext here. People are naked.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize