I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
