Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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