I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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