i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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