I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize