That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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