omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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