Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
