Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
