omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He did a backflip because drugs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
