butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You were trust falling into bushes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
