your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
