What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize