me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
