turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize