I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
