i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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