Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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