He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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