I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
