you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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