Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
