Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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