So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
