I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
