this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
