glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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