I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
