she was so not down for the gang bang
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize