can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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