i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
