Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
