2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
