Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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