This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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