You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
