The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
