I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
