So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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