summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
