Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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