We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize