He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
