I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize