I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
