Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
