Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Drake has all the answers
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
