I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
