I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My pussy is not your playground.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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