But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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