some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
