remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
