and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
