and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
