is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
