I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
