We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize