I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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