Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
