a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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