I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
