i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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