i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
