This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
